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5 Quick Tips for Happier Holiday 

11/29/2015

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​Let's start by thinking about what causes the extra tension in our lives, specifically around the holidays.  There is usually more to be done, extra obligations with family, work and friends.  Increased financial burdens either through exchanging of  gifts or travel.  Then of course, their is travel itself.  Which can be stressful any time of year.  Throw in the time spent with close and extended family members, who you may or may not get along with the remainder of the year and it's pretty much a recipe for a breakdown.

The good news is it doesn't have to be.  First, we must remember, despite tradition, external pressure, or even outright familial guilt we are always at choice.  When we step back and allow this idea to really settle in to our minds we are already on the path to balance.  
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Now, I know that it can feel awkward at first to stand up for yourself to come from a place of making choices based on your and your immediate family's needs but honestly in the end it is about setting priorities.  Which leads us to our first tip.

#1 - Set & Hold Fast to YOUR Priorities
What are the holidays about to you?  What do you want to experience this season?  What are the most important traditions or rituals that fill you with a sense of peace, joy or community?  Once you figure this out you can create boundaries based on those priorities.  Once you do you will be able to move through the season with a sense of purpose.  It will also help to avoid becoming overburdened by activities, functions and even family gatherings that don't match up with your priorities.  Imagine how nice it will feel to release the need to try and please everyone and instead focus on what you feel matters most.

#2 - Make Room in Your Schedule for Down Time
It's time to talk about over scheduling.   Following step number one can help cut back on most of this.  The big kicker is to start with SPACE.  That's right look at the month ahead and block out some space to do nothing or to stay open to do anything that strikes your fancy in the moment.  In fact that's what step 2 is all about, staying in the moment.  Because when you create time in your schedule to go with the flow you allow your mind and spirit to take in the beauty of the moments that naturally present themselves this time of year.  To be outdoors and feel the cool winter air, to stroll down the city center and watch the activity as an impartial observer, to cuddle up next to a warm fire with a good book or holiday movie, or even just to sit in quiet reflection or prayer and allow yourself to bathe in the gratitude of the season.  

#3 - Quell Your Gift Giving List
Whoosh, now I am as generous as the next gal (if you ask my husband I'm even more generous this time of year) however, it just doesn't make sense to give to the point of going bankrupt.  If you find yourself over extended this holiday season it is probably a good idea to re-evaluate your gift giving list.  This means taking the time to focus your time and money on those you hold most dear, first.  Once you've taken the time to make or buy gifts for that circle then you can look at the rest of the people on your list.  Ask yourself if perhaps, this year, you can simply go out for something to drink or even take a morning hike with your friends from work or other community group.  After all, they may be feeling overburdened by the idea that they have to provide gifts to everyone they know too and may relish the idea of just spending some relaxing time together. 

#4 - Travel Like the Pros
Now, whether you are a seasoned traveler or a novice, traveling with family can have its own set of challenges.  However, following some pro tips for packing, planning, and even booking your travel can help free up time & energy to manage the possible (and likely) hiccups of traveling in a large group.  
Here are a few tips I've found useful when traveling with my family over the years:
A) Checking in online prior to the flight (some airlines allow this up to 24 hours prior to the flight).  Keep in mind you may need to weigh your bags and check to see what the size/weight limit is prior to hitting the airport.  If you are traveling to a resort area make sure you leave room or are prepared to carry on additional souvenirs.
B) Snacks, snacks and more snacks.  Especially important with toddlers.  Things that have saved me are dried fruits (cherries, raisins, apples) and small bite sized crackers.  First of all you can dole them out in small amounts to keep little hands and mouths busy during flight delays or on extended legs.  Plus, if you get a handy "kid proof" snack dispenser it can double as a distracting activity while waiting in line, driving long distances or waiting to eat in a restaurant with slow service.
C) If they car service offers to pick you up or is located at the airport it's worth the extra fee when you've got several people and all their luggage to coral.  You may also want to see about renting a car seat vs carrying one on the plane.  It's one less thing to jungle as your herding everyone down the concourse.
D) Print your itinerary and provide copies (electronically or printed) to both the people you are traveling to see and the people you are leaving to tend to your home while you are away.  That way, if your copy get's lost or you lose internet service you can find out flight numbers or hotel information with a quick call.
E) Triple check your packing list and be sure that these family essentials are top of the list: Pain Reliever, Tooth Brush/Paste, Combs/Brush, Underwear (seriously, my own Mother came to see me when my son was born and only had the underwear she was wearing.... needless to say a quick trip to the department store was first on her list).  Check out this great FAMILY TRAVEL PACKING LIST from the Travel Channel website.

#5 - Find Your Family Sweet Spot
Who's on the naughty list?  Ok, I know holidays to most people are about getting together with family.  Their can be great warmth in gathering with those you love to reminisce and bond over Grandmas famous dessert or in the annual game of charades.  Still for many people there are just certain family members that are best in small doses.  There's no need to judge, I mean honestly, you may be that person to another family member.  So, before you drag yourself and your three year old kicking & screaming to mean Aunt Bessie's house for pre-holiday cocktail hour ask yourself, does this make sense.  If you and your entire family are going to be uncomfortable and the only reason you are going is because it's tradition it may just be time to revert to tip #1 and set a priority to put your family first.  You may receive some initial flack or a guilt laden phone call from your mother but in the end you'll have more time to spend appreciating the time you spend with those family members that you cherish

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Find Your ULP & Possibly Your Dream Job

11/25/2015

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Many of my clients who are in career transition often find themselves trapped in in-action.  They know there is something more they should be doing with their life and feel as if they are not living in line with their purpose.   Whether they have been laid off or are struggling un-successfully through their current job the bottom line is they are not satisfied with what they are doing for employment and they keep banging their head on the wall asking, what do I do now?  What is it that will make them happy, fulfilled, successful? 

Often, there is something calling out from deep in their soul that is not being expressed.  This leaves them feeling disconnected or dissatisfied with their current efforts and sometimes they aren't really even sure what it is.  They just KNOW what it isn't.  Usually, the one thing they know is that it isn't what they are currently doing for work.  Some have been in the same field for so long they don't even think they are capable of doing anything else.  Luckily, I get to remind them that as long as they are breathing anything is possible.  Despite the tired excuses running around in their head of someone being younger, wiser, having more experience, they have the capacity to learn, grow, change and succeed no matter what.  

One of the best tools we have at Divine Strategy is the Authentic Role Worksheet.  This simple worksheet helps my clients look at their natural talents, god-given-gifts, personal inspirations and spiritual beliefs to create a framework for their own Unique Life Purpose.  Below is a quick demonstration on how to utilize this 4 step process to create your own ULP. Watch the video then download the form and share your UniqueLife Purpose with us in the comments below!
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How to raise a fearless child

11/25/2015

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Is it even possible to raise a fearless child?  To create an early childhood environment that supports the idea that life is inherently good, people are generally kind, and that there is a Universal source of unlimited power that lovingly supports you in living out your own true purpose.  These were the constant thoughts that returned to me regularly during my pregnancy.  The underlying question remained constant; how do you raise a fearless child?  I wasn't sure how it was possible but I knew it was my duty to do everything in my power to give it a try.

My first opportunity to test this theory came when my four-month old son had his first hard-hitting cold. It was heartbreaking and a little scary to watch him struggle to breathe through his stuffy nose and hack through his heavily congested cough.  Still, I knew his body was doing what it was supposed to do. The challenge, how do you let a four month old know that his body was healing itself? I knew he would get better soon; though his getting better couldn’t come soon enough for me or my husband.  This was a chance for me to teach him to be fearless in the face of discomfort.  It was his opportunity to learn to trust that things would be better. Even though I couldn’t explain it to him verbally, I could let him know through non-verbal communication that he was safe and that he would feel better soon.  I held him close, kept him as comfortable as possible with lots of fluids and soothing steam sessions, and cooed softly in his ear over and over that he would be okay.

In the end, it all came down to the common sense, the best thing I could do was stay calm, supportive and refrain from filling his personal space with unnecessary worries or fears. There were no midnight runs to emergency when he spit up more than usual, or mad dashes to the pharmacy for prescription strength cough medicine, or panicked pleas to the heavens for miracle relief.  Instead, I decided to take my own medicine, I needed to overcome my own fears.  To raise a fearless child I have to be fearless in the face of life's obstacles,  I have to show him that it is safe to trust our bodies, and that in the end things will turn out okay.  The good news is that as I expected he was soon feeling better and even his cough quickly began to wane.  

As he played gleefully in his little walker at my feet, it was clear the cold had officially passed and he was no worse for the wear.  I like to think, hopefully, the lesson that life is good, he is safe, and I will always be there came shining through in the end.

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Sometimes Karma is served with a side of coffee.

11/24/2015

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One winter a young woman awoke in the car she'd been sleeping in to see her young husband making a drug deal in an open garage with the very last cash they had. She had no job and was wearing a thin beauty school uniform. It was late at night, she was tired, and this latest transgression by her husband was the final straw. She knew she could not live this life anymore. She got out of the car, grabbed her heavy beauty school kit, threw it over her shoulder and walked away. Tears rolled from her eyes as she walked, not even sure where she was walking to, she just told herself wherever she went she was never going back...[READ MORE]
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    Lia Dunlap, CCHT

    Life Coach, POWER Plan Creator, Best Selling Author,Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Entrepreneur.

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